I Am Clinically Overweight!

I'm quite happy with the results of my own Apollo Program. As you can see in the sidebar photo, I have a low body fat level and six-pack abs too. But guess what: according to the BMI (body mass index) method, I am considered overweight. The BMI method looked at the ratio of my height and weight, gave a result of 27, and concluded that I am overweight. According to the results of the BMI table, my weight is causing me health risks. And in fact, I'm just a few kilograms short of being obese!

Um ... whatever.

After I picked myself up off the floor and managed to stop laughing, I had some time to think about the whole thing. Instead of finding it funny, I started to get pretty pissed off. I wasn't offended, mind you; I'm annoyed for several other reasons, and I've managed to put three of them down in words.

The first thing that annoys me about the BMI method is a little detail, a tiny quibble, a minor technicality really: it's useless. Well, let me qualify that a bit: it's useless to anyone who does more exercise than lifting a TV remote control. Basing an assessment of someone's body based on the ratio of height to weight is oversimplifying things to the point of being idiotic. It pays no attention to body composition, in other words where that weight comes from.

Here's a little hint for whoever created the BMI method: muscles are heavy, genius! The method is totally unsuitable for anyone who has an athletic body. Using this method, someone like a world champion boxer or gymnast would be considered obese, never mind merely overweight.

The second thing that pisses me off about the BMI is how patronising the whole concept is. It presumes that people are so stupid and incapable of thinking for themselves that they need some number or "index" to tell them if they are unhealthy or overweight. It implies that we are incapable of looking in the mirror and like, you know, actually seeing that there's a problem. I've never liked the whole dumbing-down phenomenon that's taking over our society, encouraging us to abdicate responsibility and control over our own lives. "Don't worry about it. We know what's best for you." That type of nonsense. Things like BMI are just one symptom of that.

The final thing that I hate about BMI is actually something that proponents of it use as a defense. They often say things like: "The method is meant as a guide for the average person." Again, my pissed-offness here stems not from the BMI method itself, but from what it symbolises. Why the hell would anyone want to be "average"?

I don't know about you, but I can't help thinking that average sucks. I also can't help noticing that the kinds of "experts" who take BMI seriously don't actually have impressive bodies themselves. They certainly don't look like specimens of health, or anyone I would ever want to look like. In fact, I'm much happier to continue being "overweight."